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2025…

It feels surreal typing this. I’m sitting here at 1:24 a.m., listening to After Hours by The Weeknd when I should absolutely be asleep. But my brain is doing that thing where it refuses to shut up. Honestly, I feel like I’ve lived 25 different lives this year, and somehow none of them were actually mine. I don’t know who’s writing the script for my life, but they need to pick a genre and stick to it.

I originally intended this post to be a sweet tribute to the people who made 2025 bearable, maybe even beautiful. If you’ve been around for a while, you know I usually do a December reflection (the past 3 years do not count). And with that whole “cake trend” going around on social media, where everyone shares their wins and lows, however, since I’m trying not to be consumed by sugar (I am failing terribly), I figured I’ll write about it.

I’ve spent the last few hours obsessing over my blog layout, colours, fonts, every tiny detail that traps me in a loop every single time, except the actual writing. At this point, I might just leave everything black and white and call it “minimalism” instead of “I gave up”. To make things even more chaotic, I spontaneously paid for my domain tonight. Great for the blog, terrible for my savings. (That’s a story for another day, but let’s just say life is lifing).

This post is basically an informal and unhinged midnight ramble filled with typos, half-thoughts, and sleep deprivation. I should probably go to bed. Should I make this a daily diary? I don’t know… I feel like I’m oversharing, but maybe that’s the charm especially since I’ve let y’all are in my head after reading the last entry. Maybe tomorrow I’ll cringe. Maybe I won’t. Honestly… screw it.

So, goodnight, or good morning, depending on your timezone and life choices.

The Morning after

11:05 am Lately, everything feels like pressure, like the universe keeps whispering, “Hey girl, you’re running out of time in Big 2025.” And honestly, I’m weirdly comforted that the year is almost over. Let it sink. Let it drown. Let it drift to the bottom of the ocean with all the other nonsense and questionable decisions I have made which I’m not carrying into the new year. I was thinking way too hard last night after writing the first half of this entry (never a good sign), and I realised I don’t ever want to relive this year. Actually, let’s be dramatic and extend that to the past two years. If someone handed me a time machine, I’d skip the whole adulting era and go straight back to being five (snacks, naps, zero responsibilities, just learning five-letter words, peak happiness).

So, in the spirit of wrapping up this chaotic chapter, here are 25 things I’ve experienced since we last caught up, no explanations, no context, just vibes.

1. Spent the entire New Year’s Day crying in my apartment for absolutely no reason.
2. Celebrated my birthday alone.
3. Went to the gym five times a week because my mental health depended on it and so did my glutes.
4. Vlogged my life for YouTube but never posted a single thing (the archives are messy).
5. Hated my job because creativity was not just missing, it was non-existent.
6. Tried “putting myself out there” at work nights out and discovered extremely loud places make me overstimulated.
7. Consumed an unhealthy amount of M&S ginger chocolate biscuits. No regrets.
8. Got a new job and moved from Scotland to a tiny city in England where Black people are limited in sight.
9. Started the new job excited, then immediately decided the corporate ladder is not for me.
10. Tried putting myself out there again. It flopped and was a total bust again. (We try again in 2026).
11. My skin was glowing, but the gym was miles away. (talk about a tragic balance).
12. Went to see SZA and Kendrick Lamar by myself like the independent queen I pretend to be.
13. Realised I needed a car if I planned to survive this city long-term.
14. Endured an English summer that almost drove me insane. Too hot. Too bright. Too much. (Take me back to scotland ? jkjk)
15. Went go‑karting in Wales, the gear smelled like generational trauma.
16. Missed doing creative things because that part of my brain was gathering dust even with the new job.
17. Received flowers randomly from a random person for no reason. (Confusing but cute).
18. The nails I’d been growing for three months broke, and I wailed.
19. Quit the gym, bought dumbbells and worked out at home, lost my glutes and gained a few pounds. (A Shakespearean tragedy).
20. Decided I cannot stay in this city long-term because THERE IS NO AIRPORT!.
21. Passed my probation at work, which felt like winning a mildly disappointing prize after 6 months.
22. Ate pizza and ice cream two days in a row because sadness has a menu.
23. Realised people trauma-dump on me because I hold space and grace for toxic people like it’s my side hustle.
24. Realised I need therapy because I love fixing everything. Call me Tracey the Builder & Fixer.
25. Realised I crave things I would never admit out loud. (Not yet at least).
    
    Honourable mentions:
26. Sipped Rosé wine, and it tasted exactly the way methylated spirit smells. A betrayal in a glass.
27. Did not get my driving license.
    

In the spirit of tying a bow on this beautifully messy year, I’ve added my top artists from both YouTube and Apple Music, because if anything stayed consistent, it was my music taste.

What was the highlight of 2025 for you? If you’ve somehow made it all the way down here, leave me a comment. I’m bored, I’m nosy, and apparently, I enjoy other people’s business more than my own.

Happy New Year, see you on the next entry x