TE

My favourite Sunday mantle… I guess I forgot how to appreciate the little things like the “RRR” Sunday until now “the moment this post is being put up”.

You know, maybe I have forgotten how to be grateful for a lot of things, the seemingly “small and little things” the things that are very easy to miss, like being able to wake up everyday, walk to my bathroom, the kitchen and straight back to my bed. Life is so busy that this little things becomes easy to put on the sideline as we are chasing other “big things”. To be honest guys, what exactly are we chasing ??? why do we even have to chase them in the first place ? Why are we so fixated on something other than the present?

Let me digress a little

There’s this girl I know that consistently chased everything. She forgot how to live for the moment that she eventually chased her dreams away.

You know my love, happiness is relative and most people say happiness is free and comes at no cost whatever…do you believe that ? Is that something that resonates with you? For me I beg to differ… hear me out…happiness comes at a cost and this cost does not come in terms of physical money like we know , it’s more of your mental money. Mental money in the sense that your brain is a bank, a bank that houses your mental wealth. “Our brain processes a lot of things every second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day”. This means in other to stay sane and rich up there we have to filter and that’s where the mental money comes in. What exactly are you willing to trade up there to be happy? At what cost are you willing to go broke mentally ? You see that’s the cost, one thing has to go for one thing to stay. Maybe switch out your “worry account” for “still figuring it account”, switch out your “want account” for the “need account” if we are being honest 80% of our wants are not exactly our needs and there are things we could do without in the present moment but we just like to believe we need them to figure things out. Whatever it takes for your “happy bank” thrive something has to go,

How rich are you mentally ? I’ll go first, Hmm, right now I’m broke mentally because it’s been exhausting navigating life this year. It has been a tough experience but I have taken solace in the “everyday lifestyle”. You know lately I really do live by my name “Traceyeveryday” I constantly blurt this out at moments of extreme worry, anxiety, fear and panic of the unknown and even most times of the known

Maybe I am writing all these because this month of November I had to remind myself to be grateful, to breathe, take it slow, while I cannot control all of the things going on in my mental bank, I have the power to control how I react to it and for that I am being kind to myself. When the thought of self doubt and regrets creep in, I say it out and I move on letting the feeling know that I acknowledge it before it starts to fester within me I have put it in its place. Prior to doing this I would constantly ruminate over it and let it sit within me for days, months and eventually years. You know maybe I am a sensitive girl, you know what? I don’t deny it, I am soft and sensitive so all these walls are necessary or so I thought. Life has become easier to manage when I became more in tune with how deeply I felt things rather than denying and acting like it wasn’t that deep. I am a very deep person, nothing about me is shallow, everything about me has always been in layers how dare I act otherwise , not accepting that earlier on in life made life so hard. Does that mean I understand it now ? Nope lol, but it’s a work in progress, my worry bank is full and overflowing at the moment so I am not adding this there. That’s a future Tracey problem

This was supposed to be a post about Relax, Rest and Rot in bed, maybe it still is because I am currently doing that. Maybe working in a field that requires me to work on different days of the week has made me appreciate days like this, maybe I’ve just had a lot on my mind and writing is the only thing that makes me feel better, maybe I also just wanted to put it out there so it doesn’t make a home in my head, I’ll rather dump it on the universe lol. That’s not my problem.

Ah! This feels good

See you next time my love

Tracey xoxo